I Put My Mom on an Internet Dating Site

My parents divorced over 2 years ago. Probably for the best. When my father cheated and learn to text girls, their relationship is starting to break, that leaves my mother devastated. They weren’t getting along too well, and their 3 kids already left the house years before. My dad is not always a ray of sunshine. A tough guy who’s done exceptionally well for himself (especially considering he came from absolutely nothing) but often very difficult to deal with. My mom on the other hand is the sweetest lady on the planet. Always smiling, positive, very warm and easy for anyone to get along with. My whole life, I always hear about what a cool mom I have, and I guess I’m fucking lucky; therapist offices around the country are filled with people complaining about their mothers. Yeah, there were a couple incidents when I was little and pushed her buttons until the woman lost it with me, but I have no right to complain. That’s why I think she need someone to make her happy, while surfing across the net, I have found thedesiresystem.com
and it makes me curious and ask what if I put my mom on a dating site? She’s always been very supportive, and she’s my biggest fan, bragging about me to anyone who will listen. So I get protective when something hurts her.

When my parents split, she was sad and hurt. She started leaning on me a lot more, always wanting me to join her for dinner or a movie. I knew that if I didn’t come see her she’d just sit and play solitaire on the computer all night. I could not let it go on like this. And so I told her, “Mom, I’m putting you on the internet for dating.” She protested, saying she’s not ready for that right now. I didn’t care, I went to her computer, found a decent picture of her, uploaded it on Jdate, and announced my mom to the world of retired old jewish guys. “Now Mom, write a description of yourself”. Well, she’ll have to write that herself, I do have my limits. “Now Mom, go on a bunch of dates, meet people and have fun”.

After all, she’s a hot commodity on the market. Beautiful, intelligent, successful and with great energy. I’m not just saying that because she’s my mom, it’s all true. Ask my brother. Anyway, she doesn’t need anyone to support her, she’s kind of a hot shot star at Coldwell Banker, selling many large estate homes in the hills; often owned by celebrities and rock stars (part of her cool mom creds: she got Incubus their Malibu house on Morning View). I try to search online to find which apps are usually best for finding a serious date and then read the review before I introduce to Mom.

So she starts off internet dating with a bang. Lots of men. They’re showing interest and taking her on dates. She hadn’t been dating in 30-something years, so she’s calling me to ask about good places to go, and that honestly felt kind of weird, I didn’t want to send her to places I go or anything like that, and I really didn’t want to get too involved in the details. Then, she started researching and found the Millionaire dating guide. Well, very soon she starts seeing some guy seriously and stops jdate. And he was decent, but it didn’t work out, ending after a few weeks.

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