Humor
Why We Must Ban Fat Marriage
Apr 9th
WARNING: Reader discretion is strongly advised ;)
So, homosexuals are disgusting perverts who are trying to destroy the sanctity of marriage, of our society, and of our children’s minds. I get it. Gay sex is unnatural, disturbing, and we must stop this cancer of repulsive behavior from spreading. Just one thing…
We’re faced with a LARGER more troubling epidemic that also needs our attention. It’s something more unnatural, more vile, and more repugnant than even homosexual filth.
I’m talking about fat people having sex with each other.
Fat people fucking doesn’t just defy the laws of decency and morality, it also defies the laws of physics. I don’t know how it works, to be honest, I’m sure I could find fatty porn online to demonstrate it, but I don’t need to see that to know clearly beyond any doubt:
THIS WAS NEVER IN GOD’S IMAGE FOR US
Whether it’s two fatties going at it, a hot chick getting fucked by a fat dude, or a skinny dude fucking a fat chick, all fat sexual encounters must not be tolerated. This is where the role of government needs to come in to protect us.
Think about the children. Clearly people who would engage in this sort of smut certainly should be nowhere near kids, let alone raising them, acting as ROLE MODELS. I’m not talking about spreading problems like diabetes, heart disease, shortness of breath, and losing personal belongings between the folds of their skin. I’m talking about the indecency of fat sex!
Despite the difficulties presented by modern physics, fat people are still reproducing, at an alarming rate that has outpaced the rest of us! THEY ARE NOW FULLY 2/3 OF THE AMERICAN POPULATION! And they are raising hordes of fat children that will one day have fat people sex and reproduce more fat children until there’s nothing holy and sacred left in society.
How will the fabric of our society sustain so much weight?
Marriage is sacred. We need to protect it. This now needs to be a police matter.
We need to make a tough decision as a society. Do we 
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Video of the Day – Google Phone “Whisper Ads”
May 18th
Oh, I love Onion News! This 911 call is epic
New Google Phone Service Whispers Targeted Ads Directly Into Users’ Ears
Picture of the Day – Wedding Negotiations
May 18th
This is giving me nightmares of my sister, but still, this is great:
Click to Enlarge
from nataliedee.com
Bailout the Gold Diggers
Apr 6th
Note: I wrote this about a year ago during the time of the bailouts.
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Guys this is serious. No one has been hurt more in this recession than Gold Diggers. As our country loses its Millionaires and Billionaires at an alarming rate, beautiful young women from every metropolitan city are being forced from their condos, left to fend for themselves on the streets without their Mercedes, Louis Vuitton handbags, unable to shade light without any Christian Dior sunglasses. Furthermore, this sharp rise in condo evictions is flooding our court system and causing considerable harm and embarrassment to the wives and children of the men who previously supported these Gold Diggers.
When one takes an honest and deep look into this situation, only then can one realize just how serious this crisis is, for all of us. Surprisingly the income needed to support the Gold Diggers of this country is approximately $30Trillion/year, that’s more than TWICE the Gross Domestic Product of our nation. More importantly they do not save a dollar, every penny they receive goes right back into our economy. They are the WET DREAM of any STIMULUS PACKAGE. Bailing out the Gold Diggers will provide an immediate boost to our economy. In fact, since the average Gold Digger will typically spend at least 2 to 3 times what she receives, they have the potential to get our economy completely out of this recession. Our nation can’t afford to lose this level of spending. To a lesser extent, our greater Los Angeles region can’t afford to lose Sunset Plaza, Rodeo Dr. and the whole of Beverly Hills. We need a national Bailout program of at least $5Trillion to support our Gold Diggers, bring back their spending, and finally teach our children that we do have a responsible government.
