Posts tagged mom

My Niece is Soooo Cute!

My Niece Rainy
(I posted this 2 years ago on facebook, but felt like it’s appropriate now)

Thanksgiving, this time my mom outdid herself. There were about 12 of us, family and friends, but she prepared enough food to feed 7 armies. I still have another 3 weeks to go before I can eat something again. But I’m beyond grateful to have one of the coolest moms the earth has ever seen.
My sister named my niece Lorraine after some great grandmother of ours, but we all call her Rainy. Rainy is 5 years old, and she fights dirty. She’s already been kicked out of 11 schools for being unruly, rambunctious, disobedient and a smart ass. I’m proud to know that she takes after me. Often she’ll like to surprise you with a punch in the back and then she’ll turn and run so you’ll chase her. We’ve learned our lesson that the nicer and quieter the restaurant is the more she enjoys playing the game “how to make the biggest disturbance humanly possible”, usually involves animal noises.

But this Thanksgiving, we just discovered what will make her stay quiet in her seat.

Rainy had a school Thanksgiving arts and craft project to list what she’s thankful for. She is to number her answers 1-5 and roll up the art paper with a nice ribbon around it. Well my mom silenced all 12 of us at the table as we are to listen to what Rainy is thankful for. Rainy removed the ribbon, unrolled the paper, stared at it and for once was silent. We’re all staring at her and waiting, then everyone starts pushing her, “Come on Rainy, read it to us” “Ok Rainy, let’s do it together, I am thankful for…” “Rainy, tell me, what are you thankful for?” Wouldn’t open her mouth, just stared back at us blankly. No high energy, she was frozen. Odd, I thought, until I took the paper from her and read it…

thankful letter

I Put My Mom on an Internet Dating Site

I Put My Mom on an Internet Dating Site

My parents divorced over 2 years ago. Probably for the best. They weren’t getting along too well, and their 3 kids already left the house years before. My dad is not always a ray of sunshine. A tough guy who’s done exceptionally well for himself (especially considering he came from absolutely nothing) but often very difficult to deal with. My mom on the other hand is the sweetest lady on the planet. Always smiling, positive, very warm and easy for anyone to get along with. My whole life, I always hear about what a cool mom I have, and I guess I’m fucking lucky; therapist offices around the country are filled with people complaining about their mothers. Yeah, there were a couple incidents when I was little and pushed her buttons until the woman lost it with me, but I have no right to complain. She’s always been very supportive, and she’s my biggest fan, bragging about me to anyone who will listen. So I get protective when something hurts her.

When my parents split, she was sad and hurt. She started leaning on me a lot more, always wanting me to join her for dinner or a movie. I knew that if I didn’t come see her she’d just sit and play solitaire on the computer all night. I could not let it go on like this. And so I told her, “Mom, I’m putting you on the internet for dating.” She protested, saying she’s not ready for that right now. I didn’t care, I went to her computer, found a decent picture of her, uploaded it on Jdate, and announced my mom to the world of retired old jewish guys. “Now Mom, write a description of yourself”. Well, she’ll have to write that herself, I do have my limits. “Now Mom, go on a bunch of dates, meet people and have fun”.

After all, she’s a hot commodity on the market.   Continue Reading >>