Character
Acceptance is the Key
May 11th
Something truly horrible happened to me recently. The worst thing I’ve ever experienced in my life. I know that far more terrible injustices happen around the world, but I’ve never experienced anything like this. I can’t talk about it. I will be happy to at some point in the future. Anyway I was getting pretty depressed and disturbed. And then I saw this video, and it hit me really hard. In fact I think it might be one of the most important videos you ever see in your life.
So beautiful and inspiring:
The photo above is Philip Gould standing over the grave site where he will soon be buried in a few weeks.
Wow.
Some things are hard to accept. Some things feel impossible to accept. While watching this video, I realized that I’m unable to accept what happened to me, that I still hoped it was a nightmare I could wake from. Seeing Philip Gould so accepting even of his own inevitable approaching death is what I needed to see to realize that I need to accept what cannot be changed, that I can accept it, and that no matter how awful something is, I can appreciate that I have my life and my health and my drive to create a good future ahead.
Sometimes you smile at the world and the world smacks you hard. I hope I’ll have the strength to always face the difficulties of life as bravely as Philip Gould.
“Acceptance is the absolute key. At that moment you gain freedom, you gain power, and you gain courage.” – Philip Gould
Your Boss Is Your Customer
Jul 20th
Your boss is your customer. Your interview is your sales pitch. Your time and skills are your product. Your signed employment contract is your completed sale.
Your boss is your customer. Your power with any customer comes from your value to him. Bring a lot to the table and he will continue to be your customer. Bring even more to the table and you will have even more customers available. Supply and demand works great for you when there is only one of you. That is, of course, only if there’s not an uncountable number of others just like you.
Your boss is your customer. Some bosses are shitty. Some customers are shitty. Some customers are just nasty and unhappy no matter what you do. Some customers are not worth your time. If you’re unable to find quality customers, are you going to blame your customers?
Your boss is your customer. He is purchasing service from you monthly. Customer Service that lacks motivation and enthusiasm is a quick way to give him buyer’s remorse. If better service is provided elsewhere, he should purchase elsewhere. If he does fire you, he is not the asshole, you’re the asshole. Until you realize that, it’s doubtful you’ll fix the problem. Never expect someone to pay you for inferior service. If he does fire you and you have kids to feed, don’t blame your boss for their hardship.
Your boss is your customer. You treat your customers with respect. If you try to show a customer who’s boss, most of the time your customer will be happy to show you.
Continue Reading >>
The Four Words You Will Never Say Again in Business: That’s Not My Job
May 18th
If you ever answer someone important with “That’s Not My Job” you will be RIGHT! It won’t be your job when you’re terminated for being unimportant or useless.
Those words are banned if you’re an entrepreneur, and even if you have a salary. If those words ever come out of your mouth, don’t expect to go very far. It’s as simple as that. Your job is to put food in your stomach. Your job is to ensure that your operation is successful. Your job is to do whatever the fuck you need to do to make that happen.
That is the path of the achiever. He goes over and above. He doesn’t lose money and opportunities by being snotty. Of course the division of labor is important. Of course you shouldn’t always try to do everything. Of course you need to decide what is legitimately worth your time, not to waste time on time wasting things. But when push comes to shove and you have a real problem or a real opportunity, you do everything you can to handle it. I don’t care if you’re dealing with clients or you’re a salary employee, if you would ever like to move beyond your current position, you need to go beyond what you think is your job description.
How to handle Neighbors Pissed Off over a Crazy Late Night Party
May 4th
actual photo taken from the house party
(note: I wrote this a year and a half ago at the end of 2008. Hope this will give you insight into how I normally deal with massive conflicts in business, by confronting issues head on, finding common ground, not getting defensive, and taking real genuine action beyond words.)
So last month I rented out my house to a Hollywood promoter who threw an insane party with over 350 people. The party was more elaborate than anything I ever threw. There was a platform with hot girls go-go dancing under a rack of lights beaming a spectrum through the fog. Cool effect, and everyone was having a great time, telling me it’s the best party they’ve ever been to. But it was hard for me to walk around knowing maybe 5% of the people, feeling like I’m in some Hollywood club, only it’s my house, filled way beyond capacity, those are my tables and couches they are spilling their drinks over, these drunk assholes are fucking with MY things.
So anyway, the party seriously pissed off some of my neighbors. I’m probably 1/3 the age of the youngest people that live on this quiet street in Bel Air. I guess they’re not into loud crazy Hollywood parties, and so in the morning I got this email threatening cops if I do it again: Continue Reading >>
How Multi Level Marketing is a great way to piss off your friends and ALWAYS leave you poor
Apr 26th
Who wants to have MILLIONS of dollars coming in EACH MONTH without having to do ANYTHING? Raise your hand! Who wants to retire at 32 and watch the money pile up while enjoying a 6 month vacation? Raise Your Hand! All you need to do is pay $499 and make just 20 sales, and find 3 other people to do the same and help them find 3 other people to do the same, and anyway who cares about the specifics, it’s not so hard and you can make more money than you can DREAM about! Now who’s feeling that? RAISE YOUR HAND! That’s right, can I get a hell yeah? Guys, we’re talking about MILLIONS of dollars. Louder. I said can I get a HELL YEAH!!
The nicest thing I can do for friends that try to recruit me into a Multi Level Marketing business is to destroy their motivation and tell them to get the fuck out. Continue Reading >>
Don’t Calm Yourself Down
Apr 21st
Have you ever swam in a powerful current? Try to swim against it and you are powerless, burning energy, losing control, moving backwards. Swim with it and you become a force of nature.
Nobody’s fooling nobody. Hustling ain’t easy. You’re going to constantly face challenging obstacles that will make you uncomfortable. To get far, you will need to improve your skill of converting anxiety into a swelling source of power.
My college years were pretty much a waste of my life. But there was one valuable lesson I learned that made that wasted time almost worth it. It was one short anecdote from my teacher in Speech class. Public speaking is a well known source of severe anxiety for people. To help deal with that anxiety, our teach told us the anecdote of 2 boys sitting next to each other on a roller coaster. They are slowly climbing the initial ascent, before the big first drop and high speed twisting chaos. The buildings below are getting smaller as the boys slowly climb, and one boy tenses up shaking his head “NO NO NO NO NO NO NO”. The other boy next to him is alive on fire “YES YES YES YES YES”. Our teacher explained that if you analyze the brain chemistry of the 2 boys, the same chemicals are firing. They are experiencing the same emotions. The only difference between them is how they choose to respond to their emotions. One is trying to block the rush of energy and return to normal. The other is enjoying the rush, feeding off it.
The rush will come when something is a big deal. When you’re about to perform your first court trial. When you ambush a difficult to pin down businessman. When you’re about to get out on stage or out on the field. When you call a girl you’re excited about. The solution is NOT to pretend to yourself that it’s not a big deal, trying to feel normal. That’s fighting against a powerful current. That’s cutting yourself off from yourself. That’s LOSING control and moving backwards. Normal is gone. Cry about that if you want, it’s not coming back, accept it. The roller coaster is moving. What is natural now is excitement. Good. Excitement is so much more useful than indifference.
This IS a big deal. Harness that excitement. Don’t calm yourself down. Rile yourself up. Don’t block out the anxiety. Relax into it. Let it overcome you. You know how tense you feel when you really have to pee, but you’re holding it? Think of the rush of energy like that. But stop tensing up and holding back; let it all out. If you still have a little left inside, push that out too. You’ll feel numb for a moment, the rush of energy flows and tingles through to your fingers and down through your legs. Much of it soon dissipates and you are left on fire.
Now go kill ‘em all
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
- Jim Morrison, The Doors
It’s Easier to Sell Something when You List the Faults
Apr 13th
Here’s a business paradox for you. Your sales will increase when you tell people what’s wrong with what you’ve got. Including if what you’re selling is you and your services.
WHAT???
This is mostly unheard of in the business world. Everyone in business is constantly fronting. This is a world full of mega-fucking-huge egos resting on inflated claims of grandeur. No way anybody’s gonna admit what they’ve got for sale is not perfect, especially if it one’s personal service.
But you see, your buyers, they’re sniffing. They’re constantly sniffing, looking for the catch. What’s the catch here? They simply can’t rest until they find it. Your buyers just won’t be ready to make a deal until they can figure out what the real drawback might be with what you’re offering.
So PUT THERE MINDS TO REST. Tell them what could possibly be wrong for them with your deal. Lay out the faults and limitations of what you’re offering. This does a couple amazing things for you. It allows your customer to feel like he can truly evaluate the deal and be in a better position to make a decision. That’s huge. HUGE. But most importantly, it’s honest; and therefore it boosts your credibility considerably. And, it’s shocking. You have just separated and elevated yourself above the rest of the snake oil salesmen out there. You are a credible source of info in a world of bloodsuckers. Your business customers will cling to you for safety like a 4 year old clings to his blanket. It will no longer matter much what kind of claims your competitor promises, because your customers just don’t know that they can rely on those claims, but they know that they can rely on you. And that puts money in your pocket and stability to your career.
The truth does pay because the truth is valuable. Credibility is valuable. Even more so when there’s more money on the line. Continue Reading >>
Always Rep Your Friends Well
Apr 8th
I don’t understand people who put down their friends when talking about them.
Speaking well of your friends does so many great things.
It makes you look good when you have quality friends. It shows that you’re thoughtful. And It shows that you’re a good person to your friends.
And let’s not forget, it helps out your friends. You’re raising up the people around you. Your friends like it, appreciate it, and are motivated to do things to raise you up.
Isn’t it better to have a cooperative dynamic with the people close to you?
If you really can’t think of anything nice to say about a friend of yours, well, it’s time to do some thinking, about a lot of things.
Playful teasing is cool and fun of course, but it shouldn’t have anything to do with how you represent your friends to others.
What you say reflects on you. Especially what you say about your friends.
Let’s say the only info you had about someone was what they had to say about a friend. Which of these people would you rather associate with?
Person A: “My friend is one of those awesome amazing guys that makes the idea of having friends in your life actually worth it. If he wasn’t already a friend of mine, I would find a way to infiltrate and get to know him.”
Person B: “My friend is such a loser. Last night while he was sleeping, I put some shaving cream in his mouth and he accidentally swallowed it. Now he’s complaining. Haha, what an idiot!”
Fuck the Lingo, Clarity is More Impressive
Apr 7th
There are so many showoffs in this world. You want to show off your watch, or your car, or your killer hair-do? Cool, I can tolerate it. What continues to frustrate me in the business world is people showing off with Lingo.
Sure, one can pontificate upon some pompous ponderings along the collective synapse of our social paradigm thereby exacerbating a grandiose public perception with aplomb, but that ain’t going to pay the bills. Simplify your language.
Lingo, industry jargon, the specialized vocabulary used for a specific niche; it’s a very useful way to speed up communication between people who understand the underlying concepts. If you’re speaking to someone unfamiliar with the concepts of your niche, using lingo SLOWS DOWN communication, and CONFUSES people. It also creates the annoying awkwardness of someone having to ask for clarification to understand you. This is unhelpful, demonstrates poor communication skills, and serves to make you less valuable.
Sounds pretty obvious, but if you’re in business you’re probably already doing this now. If you are exceptionally intelligent, I’m almost certain of it.
Continue Reading >>
Raise Your Self-Esteem by Becoming a Better Person
Apr 4th
Your Self-Esteem is the estimate you make about yourself. How well equipped are you to deal with life? How worthy are you of its rewards?
The best way to raise your Self-Esteem is to become a better person. Sounds so obvious and self evident. But, it’s amazing how much of our culture tries to avoid that fact, and how much advice and products are sold to help us try to raise our belief in ourselves without having to grow and develop ourselves.
Indeed when we are little we are often taught that no one is better than anyone else and we all deserve a sticker and a star. But the truth is that as we grow up, some of us become better people than others.
A person who is more responsible is better in that respect than a person who is less responsible. A person who acts with more integrity is better in that respect than a person who acts with less integrity. A person who is more productive is better in that respect than a person who is less productive.
Better as in better equipped for life, and more worthy of its rewards.
There is no magic pill. Blowing yourself kisses in the mirror won’t help either. Don’t try to find a shortcut around becoming a better person.
We’re going to get a lot more into building character in future articles.
Your Need for Confidence
Apr 4th
If you want to be a racecar driver, speeding your car around other drivers and through tight openings at breath taking speeds, you will need to be able to trust your instruments and tools. You’ll need to trust your mirrors, you’ll need to trust that thin layer of rubber around your wheels holding your car to the road, you’ll need to trust your transmission to shift gears on command and the engine to thrust you forward when you need it to. When you’re in battle, you need to trust the capabilities of your armor to protect you and your weapons to fire and your night vision and even your boots. You need to be able to rely on them when you need them.
What happens if you can’t trust your instruments and tools? What happens if your judgment is that you aren’t sure you can rely on them when you need them?
You hold back.
If you don’t trust your tires, you’d better slow down. If you’re not sure your armor will be effective in combat, you’d better be a lot more cautious.
What do you do when deep down you’re not sure of yourself?
What Are You Capable Of?
Apr 4th
Look at your hand. What do you see? Skin. Fingers. Joints. It moves. It’s alive. What can it do? It can hold a book. It can write messages. Your hand doesn’t look much different from the hand of a great musician or a fighter pilot.
Stand up. Look at a mirror. What do you see? There’s a body there. There’s a brain inside it. There’s hair on it. It has arms and legs. What can it do? All of your heroes, all the great achievers throughout history, they don’t have much more to work with than you.
We are all flesh and bone and brain. What one man can do, so can another.
