I don’t understand people who put down their friends when talking about them.
Speaking well of your friends does so many great things.
It makes you look good when you have quality friends. It shows that you’re thoughtful. And It shows that you’re a good person to your friends.
And let’s not forget, it helps out your friends. You’re raising up the people around you. Your friends like it, appreciate it, and are motivated to do things to raise you up.
Isn’t it better to have a cooperative dynamic with the people close to you?
If you really can’t think of anything nice to say about a friend of yours, well, it’s time to do some thinking, about a lot of things.
Playful teasing is cool and fun of course, but it shouldn’t have anything to do with how you represent your friends to others.
What you say reflects on you. Especially what you say about your friends.
Let’s say the only info you had about someone was what they had to say about a friend. Which of these people would you rather associate with?
Person A: “My friend is one of those awesome amazing guys that makes the idea of having friends in your life actually worth it. If he wasn’t already a friend of mine, I would find a way to infiltrate and get to know him.”
Person B: “My friend is such a loser. Last night while he was sleeping, I put some shaving cream in his mouth and he accidentally swallowed it. Now he’s complaining. Haha, what an idiot!”
There are so many showoffs in this world. You want to show off your watch, or your car, or your killer hair-do? Cool, I can tolerate it. What continues to frustrate me in the business world is people showing off with Lingo.
Sure, one can pontificate upon some pompous ponderings along the collective synapse of our social paradigm thereby exacerbating a grandiose public perception with aplomb, but that ain’t going to pay the bills. Simplify your language.
Lingo, industry jargon, the specialized vocabulary used for a specific niche; it’s a very useful way to speed up communication between people who understand the underlying concepts. If you’re speaking to someone unfamiliar with the concepts of your niche, using lingo SLOWS DOWN communication, and CONFUSES people. It also creates the annoying awkwardness of someone having to ask for clarification to understand you. This is unhelpful, demonstrates poor communication skills, and serves to make you less valuable.
Sounds pretty obvious, but if you’re in business you’re probably already doing this now. If you are exceptionally intelligent, I’m almost certain of it.
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Your Self-Esteem is the estimate you make about yourself. How well equipped are you to deal with life? How worthy are you of its rewards?
The best way to raise your Self-Esteem is to become a better person. Sounds so obvious and self evident. But, it’s amazing how much of our culture tries to avoid that fact, and how much advice and products are sold to help us try to raise our belief in ourselves without having to grow and develop ourselves.
Indeed when we are little we are often taught that no one is better than anyone else and we all deserve a sticker and a star. But the truth is that as we grow up, some of us become better people than others.
A person who is more responsible is better in that respect than a person who is less responsible. A person who acts with more integrity is better in that respect than a person who acts with less integrity. A person who is more productive is better in that respect than a person who is less productive.
Better as in better equipped for life, and more worthy of its rewards.
There is no magic pill. Blowing yourself kisses in the mirror won’t help either. Don’t try to find a shortcut around becoming a better person.
We’re going to get a lot more into building character in future articles.
If you want to be a racecar driver, speeding your car around other drivers and through tight openings at breath taking speeds, you will need to be able to trust your instruments and tools. You’ll need to trust your mirrors, you’ll need to trust that thin layer of rubber around your wheels holding your car to the road, you’ll need to trust your transmission to shift gears on command and the engine to thrust you forward when you need it to. When you’re in battle, you need to trust the capabilities of your armor to protect you and your weapons to fire and your night vision and even your boots. You need to be able to rely on them when you need them.
What happens if you can’t trust your instruments and tools? What happens if your judgment is that you aren’t sure you can rely on them when you need them?
You hold back.
If you don’t trust your tires, you’d better slow down. If you’re not sure your armor will be effective in combat, you’d better be a lot more cautious.
What do you do when deep down you’re not sure of yourself?
Look at your hand. What do you see? Skin. Fingers. Joints. It moves. It’s alive. What can it do? It can hold a book. It can write messages. Your hand doesn’t look much different from the hand of a great musician or a fighter pilot.
Stand up. Look at a mirror. What do you see? There’s a body there. There’s a brain inside it. There’s hair on it. It has arms and legs. What can it do? All of your heroes, all the great achievers throughout history, they don’t have much more to work with than you.
We are all flesh and bone and brain. What one man can do, so can another.