Why We Must Ban Fat Marriage
So, homosexuals are disgusting perverts who are trying to destroy the sanctity of marriage, of our society, and of our children’s minds. I get it. Gay sex is unnatural, disturbing, and we must stop this cancer of repulsive behavior from spreading. Just one thing…
We’re faced with a LARGER more troubling epidemic that also needs our attention. It’s something more unnatural, more vile, and more repugnant than even homosexual filth.
I’m talking about fat people having sex with each other.
Fat people fucking doesn’t just defy the laws of decency and morality, it also defies the laws of physics. I don’t know how it works, to be honest, I’m sure I could find fatty porn online to demonstrate it, but I don’t need to see that to know clearly beyond any doubt:
THIS WAS NEVER IN GOD’S IMAGE FOR US
Whether it’s two fatties going at it, a hot chick getting fucked by a fat dude, or a skinny dude fucking a fat chick, all fat sexual encounters must not be tolerated. This is where the role of government needs to come in to protect us.
Think about the children. Clearly people who would engage in this sort of smut certainly should be nowhere near kids, let alone raising them, acting as ROLE MODELS. I’m not talking about spreading problems like diabetes, heart disease, shortness of breath, and losing personal belongings between the folds of their skin. I’m talking about the indecency of fat sex!
Despite the difficulties presented by modern physics, fat people are still reproducing, at an alarming rate that has outpaced the rest of us! THEY ARE NOW FULLY 2/3 OF THE AMERICAN POPULATION! And they are raising hordes of fat children that will one day have fat people sex and reproduce more fat children until there’s nothing holy and sacred left in society.
How will the fabric of our society sustain so much weight?
Marriage is sacred. We need to protect it. This now needs to be a police matter.
We need to make a tough decision as a society. Do we choose the path of god fearing decent families working hard to secure god’s blessing on us and our nation, or do we choose the path of legions of trailer homes of families watching wrestling over buckets of fried chicken and buttered popcorn?
If we do not act now to ban fat marriage, soon it will be too late. Our country will become little more than a bunch of fat lazy entitled ignorant yet very judgmental rednecks. I pray it’s not too late…..
And we don’t need fat people to join us in our drive to also stop gay marriage. There’s plenty of national support without that Fat American demographic.
At a time when our economy is badly threatened and our national debt is skyrocketing and our troops are suffering through costly deadly wars, we need to focus on issues that really matter; like what fat people do with each other in the privacy of their own homes. How else can we gain the respect of our children and the future young voting generation?
I do want to stress my humanity about this situation. I’m not saying we should kill fat people, just prevent them from marrying and hopefully stop them from breeding. After all, we’re not barbarians. Fortunately I do have a more sustainable government solution to the current Fat People Epidemic:
Maybe we could use the folds of their skin for vertical farming pouches to grow fruits and vegetables. This would be a more sustainable solution to America’s obesity epidemic, enabling fat people to grow their own readily available food and bring oxygen into the room they never leave. The plant life will receive ample water because fat people sweat, and plants should thrive on the excess carbon at levels only fat people can provide. There’s probably food wrappers lost in the folds anyway, might as well be more economical with that real estate. One must always look for simple positive government solutions to current national dilemmas. Just imagine it, fat people with produce poking out of their folds is far more amusing and wholesome than their current deviant behavior.
Something’s itching?? Ooh tomato! Nom nom
What do you guys think?
If you also want to ban fat marriage, please share this article and get the word out.
(Note: Why do people always brand Anti Fat Marriage advocates as hating fat people? We’re not against fat people. We’re just against fat people fucking, and getting married, and raising children, and eating our food, and breathing our air. That’s all.)
What we need is not government to legalize gay marriage but people who no longer seek its permission.